The Big Bang

I have always been fascinated by the Theory of the Big Bang. As a physicist in the university, nothing was more interesting than cosmology. I wanted to know all there was to know about our universe.
At that time I was not a real christian. I believed in god (as far as I can remember) but I did not really know the extent of what Christ did for us, so I guess it is fair to say I was not a true christian.
Science was all I cared about. I used to go to the Nuclear Physics Lab around 9PM on Fridays, when everybody was going home, and sit down at the computer room, alone, just to be amongst the computers, in peace, having ideas and typing on the terminal of a Microvax, until the morning. No one would bother me there.
I would never accept at that time that the world was really created by god. It was something I could not explain and I would think of the Genesis of the Bible only as a story told to illustrate the creation.
I could not be more wrong.
Yes, I believed in the Theory of the Big Bang, it makes sense to me, specially after the discovery of the Cosmic Background Radiation, and its confirmation. And I can say I still love cosmology.
It only makes me more in love with god and his creation; when I think there is a god so powerful that can make things happen through such complicated ways, yet beautiful ways, such as the concentration of all matter in one infinitesimal point, one singularity alone...In the moment it "exploded" and matter was created and the inflation period and everything that follows. It gives me again that feeling of "how small we all are", how far we humans are of having the power that god has. At the same time, how infinite he is, how powerful and beautiful he is.
God chose to create the universe, everything we see, everything there is, through a succession of events. He didn't give us all the mathematical equations in the bible for us to go out there and simply verify them against scientific data. But he gave us the capacity to search, deduce, and learn from nature, physics and mathematics, how it all happen.
God, through his holy spirit, inspire the minds of all these scientists and researchers to come up with theories about the way god himself chose to do things. In the same way he inspired other scientists to discover the cure to many diseases, writers to write fine stories, philosophers to create moral systems, he also inspired scientist to formulate theories.
I remember when first learning about Kepler and his laws the teacher would laugh when mentioning they thought that behind the laws there where angels moving the celestial bodies in space. I laughed with him also, not knowing that indeed god is behind the motion of the celestial bodies. He permits that the physical world presents itself the way we see it. Therefore he permits the laws of physics to "rule" the motion of the celestial bodies.
You could have the most beautiful theory about the creation or about anything you want for that matter, but it would never answer the most fundamental question: why? Why it had to be that way? We can only know so much. We can only find out things up to a point. Theories can only show us how things happen and how they happened, but not why they happen. No theory of science could ever tell us why the universe was created or why at t=0 there was a singularity and it evolved to what we see today. I'm not even sure science can tell us why the singularity just didn't stay like that forever.
I'm not bothered with our lack of explanation to both the ultimate questions of science nor to the questions of christianity. I know that there are things we will never be able to know, because if we did we would be like god, infinite, and we can never be like that. We are finite creatures, eager to understand everything we can about our world and our existence, but we will never be like god. There is only one god, the creator that created everything but has existed forever without being created himself. Who can explain that? Who will ever be able to explain why there is a god?
I don't think anyone will ever be, but I see the creation of god everywhere; I see the hand of god in everything, I believe he created everything, Big Bang or no Big Bang; and all I see can only make me even more amazed before this great and infinite god.